House Of Night Carnival
by PaganPancakes
Summary: Step right up to the House of Night Carnival where you suggest games, who has to play them, and the random vegetable of the chapter! Which may sound strange, but trust me, it's worse!
1. Chapter 1

A/N: Sorry I basically blew off my other too stories, but, I would rather leave them unwritten than finish them into crappy things. (Well, more crappy than they were). So anyways, my new HON fanfiction! Even though I just stopped another one... YAY! (I am Gnomey, by the way, I'm going to incorperate the random vegetables, so keep em comin'!)

Zoey: So who are you again?

UnidentifiedMidget: Gnomey

Zoey: And why am I here?

Gnomey: Because Nyx had to go on vacation.

Zoey: She can do that?

Gnomey: Do you know how dramatic your life has been lately?

Zoey: Yes.

Gnomey: Okay, so, I'm going to be putting all of you here, in this padded room, that I used to be in during my crazy days. *Twitches

Jack: Damien! I'm scared!

Gnomey: Don't worry, I don't hurt gay people.

Jack: Okay?

Damien: So, why are we here?

Gnomey: BECAUSE NYX IS ON VACATION!

Stark: STOP YELLING! 

Gnomey:... I will kill Zoey off.

Stark: Will it be like Twins story?

Everyone: Noooooo!

Gnomey: No, not in the sense that when you die, you come back. I want to set mine up like a carnival! 

Darius: What kind of carnival?

Gnomey: Well, it'll be fun for me, and me and Twin are friends...

Erin: Oh

Shauneey: Crap.

Gnomey: Anyways, let us begin! Now first off we have a pretty nice game in my opinion. Dunk That Creeper Who Was Most Likely Abused By His Father!

Loren: So who would that be?

Gnomey: Think, you're still in Twin's story too. Think. Hard. Who do we all know and hate.

Erik: Oh bleeeeep. *Tries to run for door

Gnomey: Where do you think you're going? *Erik is now in dunk tank

Erik: What the?

Gnomey: I'm taking over for Nyx, is it really that hard to understand?

Damien:... You use more logic than Twin.

Gnomey: That won't last very long... know why?

Damien: Why?

Gnomey: Because they Bunney stole my cell phone.

Damien: … I'm curious as to who's more insane, you or twin. Or if it's equal.

Sweet Corn: Oh no. No! You're the one who took carrots pants!

Stevie Rae: What?

Gnomey: It's another story, but each chapter will continue to have vegetables in them!

Stark: Okay, so are we gonna dunk Erik or what?

Gnomey: Yes, the first one to dunk him gets to choose anything to happen to him.

Erik: Please be someone who likes me!

Gnomey: It's sad you can't think of a name, because everyone hates you...

Erik: Shut up! 

Gnomey: You dare? You realize I am a Goddess at this point and time.

Kalona: You are no true goddess!

Gnomey: I smiteith thee! *Smites Kalona

Kalona: Ow! What the hell?

Gnomey: That's what you get you darn pedophile!

Kalona: Pedophile?

Gnomey: Yup.

Erik: Nyx will stop you, you realize that don't you?

Nyx: No I like her style, I'm retiring, for now. Bye! *Poofs out

Everyone: Oh my Goddess, we're in hell.

Gnomey: No, you're in what was just a few moments ago Nyx's realm, but which is now Gnomey's Realm.

Neferet: I am the true Goddess' incarnate and I-

Gnomey: Mess with me. I dare you. *Hold up a brick

Neferet: A brick?

Gnomey: Thrown by a Goddess.

Neferet: I'm going to shut up now.

Gnomey: Good Neferet. So, I think Darkness and Light should go first.

Stark: Why are they here?

Gnoemy: I said EVERYONE!

Stark: Okay, okay.

Darkness: Why am I speaking?

Gnomey: Because for now you and Light can.

Darkness: Okay. *Throws a ball at target with darn tendril thing and misses.

Light: *Throws and hits. He can live, if he promises to not be such a creeper.

Erik: What?

Gnomey: Dude, even Light hates you.

Erik: Light didn't say that!

Light: I hate you.

Gnomey: Go balance the world.

Stark: I just realized we aren't in your crazy room anymore, we're in a white room, just a big white room and we're all sitting on bleachers.

Gnomey: Maybe.

Stark: Don't even start being cryptic.

Gnomey: I know, just kidding, I wouldn't steal my friends personallity.

Erik: So I get to live?

Gnomey: For now.

Erik: Crap.

Gnomey: So, now we wait.

Sweet Corn: For?

Gnomey: Oh crapola I forgot! *kills Sweet Corn* They're can be only one vegetable.

Damien: So, for?

Gnomey: For my reviewers to tell me a game to play, who has to play, and a vegetable.

Aphrodite: Fun.

Gnomey: Let's all talk until then..

Jack: Yay!

Dallas: Shut up gay boy.

Gnomey: What did you say?

Dallas: Nothing. I swear.

Gnomey: Whatever butttard.

Damien: That's not one word, and tard isn't even if you serepated them.

Gnomey: Get used to it!

Zoey: So Kalona, how did you become such a bastard? Don't blame Nyx.

Kalona: I am not!

Everyone but Kalona including Neferet: Ya you are.

Gnomey: Okay, moving on. Loren, why are you a pedophile, like Kalona?

Loren: ONE TIME! 

Gnomey: Yeah, suure it was one time.

Loren: It was!

Zoey: Can we not talk about this.

Gnomey: It's not your fault *cough* kinda is *cough*

Stark: Hey!

Gnomey: Shut up you! It wasn't really. Well, actually, it mighta been. I don't care and or know.

Duchess: STARK! I LIKE STARK AND HOT DOGS!

Damien: The dog can TALK? Nooooo! 

A/N: Hurry, hurry, reviewers, save Damien from the maddness! Oh and if you haven't already read HalfofTwin's story, do it, because this beginning will make more since!


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Yay! Okay so, the vegetables thing is just something I started with my last HON story, and people liked it. Sooo. To the carnival!

Gnomey: It's okay Damien, a reviewer saved you from the maddness!

Damien: Thank you! Who was it?

Gnomey: Hehehe.

**HalfofTwin**

**Thanks a lot Light. And yay! They fear the Twin! Great so far, questioning the veggie though. Your Gnomelord of the pants gnomes though so...TO THE DEATH THINGS**

**5 characters of insane choice spin the wheel of torture and do whatever the land on (Eat a frog, lick a tolet, crossdress, cosplay, hug a duck, shave Aphrodites head, eat Darious, kiss the pedophile)**

**And then 3 people who are logical do the things that the 5 chosen victims didnt do**

**And I choose the veggie to be a pomogranet even if it isnt a veggie**

Twin: Hello.

Everyone: NOOOOOO!

Twin: Yes. Hello Pomegranate!

Pomegranate: Where am I?

Gnomey: My realm.

Pomegranate: Wait, are you Gnomey?

Gnomey: Yes.

Pomegranate: Oh my goddess! I'm going to die!

Gnomey: Maybe not, you are a fruit, not a vegetable.

Jack: I like pomegranates!

Twin: Can Jack eat him at the end?

Gnomey: Maybe. I'll think about it.

Twin: So, on to the wheel of torture!

Gnomey: Yes! So, I want Erik, Aphrodite, Dallas, Stevie Rae, and Rephaim to spin the wheel. Although Erik and Dallas are the only ones I hate.

Erik: Thanks.

Gnomey: Anytime. You're first Erik.

Erik: Okay. *Approaches the colorful wheel*

Gnomey: Spin it!

Erik: *Spins* Okay, crossdress.

Gnomey: Nope. *Spins so it lands on hug a duck*

Erik: Awww, someone does have a soft spot for me.

Gnomey: Sure.

Erik: *Hugs duck that has appeared, and the duck bites his face*

Gnomey: Hehe.

Erik: Ducks don't even have teeth!

Gnomey: Shut up, Dallas, you're up!

Dallas: Okay. *Spins wheel, lands on eat Darius*

Darius: I don't like this.

Gnomey: He only has to try.

Darius: Okay.

Dallas: I don't-

Gnomey: Want to wait any longer? No problem! *Shoves Dallas into Darius*

Dallas: Alright. *opens mouth*

Darius: *punches Dallas*

Gnomey: Yay! VI-O-LENCE! Aright now Aphrodite!

Aphrodite: Kay. *Twitches over to wheel and spins, lands on shave Aphrodite's head*

Gnomey: Ironic. *Gives Aphrodite razor.

Aphrodite: No way!

Gnomey: If you don't I will, and I won't be careful.

Aphrodite: No!

Gnomey: Alright. *Takes razor and shaves Aphrodite. Because of movement, nicks head 4 times none are major though*

Aphrodite: Ow!

Gnomey: Well, you didn't do it. Now shut up!

Aphrodite: No, bit**!

Gnomey: I can and will force you to make out with Neferet.

Aphrodite: Ewwww!

Jack: How could anyone think of this stuff?

Gnomey; Well, you're just to innocent, it's easy for everyone else.

Jack: Okay.

Gnomey: Okay, now, Stevie Rae you're up!

Stevie Rae: Okay.

Twin and Gnomey: OKIE TWANG!

Stevie Rae: *Spins wheel and lands on hug a duck*

Gnomey: Oh hold on! *Changes hug a duck, eat Darius, and shave Aphrodite to black tv screens*

Stevie Rae: What? *Spins again* Oh well.

Gnomey: The tv has chosen! *Tv screen says lick a toilet*

Stevie Rae: Gross!

Gnomey: It's okay, lick the freshly sanitized toilet.

Stevie Rae: Okay. *Licks toilet* Thank goodness y'all sanitized it!

Gnomey: No we didn't.

Stevie Rae: Y'all are just, just, never mind!

Gnomey: Okay! Rephaim!

Rephaim: Why am I in my Raven Mocker form?

Gnomey: Cause I like it better!

Rephaim: Okay. *Spins wheel, lands on eat a frog*

Gnomey: Do it! *Frog appears*

Rephaim: *Eats it, no problem*

Twin: What the?

Gnomey: Birds are gross sometimes, moving on! Logical people... Damien, Stark, and Darkness!

Darkness: Why am I doing it?

Gnomey: Variety!

Twin: Yay variety! Can I spin for Darkness?

Gnomey: Go for it!

Twin: Yes! *Spins wheel, lands on crossdress*

Gnomey:Oh

Twin: Yes.

Erin and Shaunee: Hey!

Twin: What?

Gnomey: Someone has to be the other half of twin, maybe it's me. Even though she's like 5-7 inches taller than me, because I'm a midget. Shut up! Now, I guess Darkness has to dress as Light, because I have no idea Darkness' gender.

Twin: Darn.

Darkness: Do I really have to?

Twin: Yes.

Darkness: Okay. *becomes half black magically*

Gnomey: Yay!

Darkness: It burns!

Twin: … awesome.

Darkness: Can I change back?

Gnomey: Yes and leave! *poofs Darkness out*

Twin: Okay, now Zoey!

Zoey: No.

Gnomey: What happened last time someone said no?

*Everyone looks over at Aphrodite's bald and bleeding head*

Zoey: Okay then. *Spins wheel and it lands on cosplay*

Gnomey: GO CHANGE!

Zoey: Okay! *Leaves and comes back dressed as Pikachu*

Stark: Aww.

Gnomey: The only thing left is kiss the pedophile, and it's your turn.

Zoey: Aww.

Stark: Which one?

Gnomey: Hmm, I will consult Twin.

Gnomey: Twin! Which pedophile?

Twin: Loren.

Gnomey: Good to know.

Loren: No way!

Stark: At least you haven't been told to kiss the pedophile that screwed your girlfriend. Which I won't be doing.

Gnomey: Okay, here's the deal. I can force you to. I can get a Loren crazed girl and put her in your body. And that would last so much longer than if you did it.

Stark: No!

Gnomey: Okay Damien, I think just this once, put some logic into his head.

Damien: Well, if he went with no, he technically wouldn't be doing it.

Gnomey: Fine then. How about I get into his head and change his mind?

Damien: Okay well then just do it now. Or your personality will forever be changed.

Stark: Fine. *Kisses Loren on the lips*

Gnomey: Hehehe, we didn't say it had to be the lips.

Stark: … I hate you.

Gnomey: I think Loren enjoyed that.

*Everyone looks to Loren, who is dazed*

Stark: That's disgusting.

Twin: So is he a gay pedophile?

Gnomey: I don't think so. He may have post traumatic stress disorder.

Damien: Wow. You just used logic. In a serious way.

Gnomey: I like medical stuff, you knows? Like Anatomy, Biology, all kinds of nerdy stuff.

Damien: Hope I never go to your hospital.

Gnomey: Moving on.

Pomegranate: What else is there?

Gnomey: That reminds me! Jack! Eat up!

Jack: *Gets a crazy look in his eyes* POMEGRANATE!

Pomegranate: Noooo! *Gets eaten by Jack*

Jack: *panting* Yummy.

Gnomey: All right! Now we wait for a game, who has to play it, and a vegetable Yup. This is 6 pages! I'm proud of myself. Oh and Valentines day is coming up. So, gross.

RJ: You only say that because you're single.

Gnomey: How did you get in my story?

RJ: I have ways.

Gnomey: Twin, do the honors.

Twin: Yay! *Drowns RJ* That's what you get for making me scared!

Gnomey: SO long Twin, you have to write your stuff!

Twin: Goodbye! *Poofs out*

Kramisha: Okay then, I'm glad I'm not really involved in either of your stories.

Gnomey: We'll have to change that! Oh and if this runs on long enough I'll most likely end up doing a second one, maybe with another book. Oh well. We'll burn that bridge when we get to it.

Damien: Don't you mean cross?

Gnomey: I don't use logic all the time you silly zebra.

Damien: Really?

Gnomey: Yes, so readers, review it to the point where I end up having a 40 page chapter! This one's 7 now. Leave it for ANY HON character, not just the ones I have mentioned.

Duchess: I like hotdogs!

Damien: I'm getting a headache!

Jack: Aww!

Zoey: So, Loren, did you enjoy that?

Loren: No! That was disgusting.

Stark: Yeah right.

Loren: I think you liked it!

Gnomey: Who liked it? Find out, right after this commercial brake.

Gnomey: Hi, I'm Gnomey, and I've been a Pants Gnome Lord for about a year now. So I know what I'm talking about when it comes to pants. Buy mine. Alright? Cool.

Jack: Hey there! I'm Jack! And I LOVE pomegranates! I recommend this pomegranate. Yeah, but you can't have it! MINE! MINE!

Aphrodite: So, you have a commercial?

Jack: Yes.

Damien: Wait, wait.

Gnomey: What?

Stark: I think he's confused as to the fact that we're at a carnival with commercial brakes.

Gnomey: Oh well, so, who liked it? Who thinks Stark? *Loren raises hand* Loren? *Everyone else raises hand*

Loren: WHAT?

Gnomey: It was... JUSTIN BIEBER!

Justin Bieber: Hey guys *Winks and flips his hair, looking at Loren and Stark*

Stark and Loren: I think I'm going to throw up. *Throw up all over the floor*

Gnomey: Clean it Justing Bieber! You caused it!

Justin Bieber: Okay. *Cleans up puke* Call me. *Winking at Stark and Loren*

Gnomey: Be gone! *Kills Justing Bieber* Guess what?

Erin and Shaunee: What?

Gnomey: We're up to 8 pages!

Erik: Great. Wouldn't it be awesome if it kept going? *Sarcastically of course*

Gnomey: Now that you mention it, it definitely would! Thanks Erik!

Stark: Erik!

Erik: Sorry I didn't mean to!

Gnomey: So, for bringing it up, Erik gets to play games! Or whatever! I am open to suggestions.

Neferet: How about we stone him?

Gnomey: People don't come back to life here.

Neferet: So?

Gnomey: I don't want him to die yet, that would ruin a lot of fun for my readers. Sooooooo, is everyone cool with me throwing a brick at him, knocking him out until the next chapter?

Stark: Yeah.

Zoey: Sure.

Erin: You kn-

Shaunee: -ow it!

Damien: Fine.

Jack: I want a pomegranate...

Duchess: HOT DOGS!

Justin Bieber: Can I have him after he's passed out?

Gnomey: We'll have a vote.

Loren: Sure.

Stark: No, I wouldn't wish that upon anyone.

Zoey: I'll just go with Stark.

Duchess: STARK!

Neferet: Why should I care, I am the Tsi Gii-

Gnomey: Not anymore!

Damien: No.

Jack: No.

Gnomey: Okay we have a general no vote.

Erik: Than y-

Gnomey: *Throws brick at Erik* Night, night.

Justin Bieber: I WANT HIM! *Tries to grab Erik*

Gnomey: BAD! BAD FREAK OF NATURE! I don't think you're a girl. But I know you're not a boy. WHAT ARE YOU? Ah well anyways. *Poofs Justin Bieber out*

Gnomey: So, what should we do with Erik's body?

Shaunee: Let's dress him up!

Erin: I agree!

Gnomey: Maybe later.

Shaunee and Erin: Dang it!

Stark: Long enough yet?

Gnomey: Hmmm, on the tenth page... I think so.

Stark: Thank the Goddess!

Gnomey: You're welcome.

Stark: I completely forgot about that.

Gnomey: This is like, the forth time I've tried to end this chapter.

A/N: So, hoped you liked it. LONG chapter! Review for Game, People,Vegetable, and Die. Erik loves you. But we know you hate him, so it doesn't matter. Erik: Hey! Gnomey: Shut up! Okay, back to the A/N, I can't wait to see the new gnome movie coming out! Freakin' amazing. I was sick today :( but, thats why this is finished, you get bored after puking and not being able to do anything else. I like babbling. Goodbye.


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: Go to a trampoline and bounce! Then kick the person who owns it in teh face!

Gnomey: We are on chapter 3! Success!

Damien: How is it a success?

Gnomey: … yeah.

Damien: Okay?

Gnomey: Yes.

Stark: So what are we doing this time?

Zoey: Yeah, because we're all looking forward to that.

Gnomey: … while I go and eat a DVD player, you guys talk.

Erik: What's her problem?

Harry:Where am I?

Gnomey: Get out of here Harry Potter! This is for House of Night people!

Harry: How do I leave?

Gnomey: Plolopalokin! *Harry Potter poofs aways* Back to talking.

Stark: Okay then.

Rephaim: Why am I here again?

Zoey: She said everyone. So, I guess your part of that everyone.

Rephaim: I don't under-.

Dragon: I'LL KILL YOU!

Gnomey: No! Bad!

Dragon: He killed Anastasia!

Gnomey: I know. But still, no. If you try and kill him without a readers suggestion and my approval, you shall die.

Dragon: Fine.

Gnomey: Go stand in the garden for your punishment.

Dragon: I'm getting a time out?

Gnomey: Kind of.

Stark: When did that garden get here?

Gnomey: Just now.

Jack: I want a pomegranate...

Gnomey: Not now. Go Dragon.

Dragon: Okay? *Walks over to garden, where gnomes come out of the bushes and attack him*

Gnomey: Hehehe.

Stevie Rae: Y'all are pretty messed up you know that?

Gnomey: So should I let him kill Rephaim?

Stevie: ...no

Gnomey: Okay then. REVIEW TIME!

**HalfofTwin**

**OMG you puked? Same thing for me last Friday...weird. And a carnival with comercial breaks...totaly normal!**

**Game- Eating contest! Rats, hair, feet, ice cream, pomogranates, Darious, cake made by RJ**

**Im evil. Yay! Fun!**

**Veggie persno thing! Rice!**

Damien: She does realize rice is not a vegetable, right?

Twin: Since when?

Jack: Since forever?

Gnomey: Okay, now, to the game thing of eats. So, what I'm thinking is we give someone one thing to eat, have a couple participants, and go from there. Dallas- you eat the rats. I hope you get a deadly disease and die. Kalona- you eat the hair! Dragon- come back from your gnome attack- hehehe rhymes- and you eat the feet- hehehe more rhymes. Stevie Rae- you gets the ice cream! Jack- of course you get the pomegranates! Loren- you eat Darious- hope he knocks your head off. *Realizes Erik wasn't paying attention* Erik eats the cake. Hehehe.

Jack: YAY!

Erik: Cake? What's wrong with it?

Gnomey: Nooothing.

Erik: Yeah right.

Gnomey: GO SIT AT THE TABLE, DARIOUS, SIT ON THE TABLE!

Stark: No need to yell!

Gnomey: I was not yelling.

Stark: Whatever.

Gnomey: Attitude much? On your mark, gets set, go!

*Everyone starts eating, expect Loren, Dallas, Kalona and Erik. Yes Dragon eats the feet, because he is weird.*

Gnomey: EAT IT ERIK!

Erik: Okay! *Takes one bite of cake and it blows up, scorching half of his face*

Gnomey: Next time pay attention, it was made by RJ!

Erik: IT BURNS!

Gnomey: Shut up. Go to the garden if you want to complain.

Erik: *Looks over at Dragon, who is stabbing a foot and has severe wounds all over his face* I'll stop complaining.

Twin: You better.

Erik: I love you.

Twin: What the?

Erik: Why did I just say that?

Gnomey: I was bored. Hehehe.

Twin: You just made me vomit. *Points to the vomit on the floor*

Gnomey: Clean it up Erik.

Erik: But I-

Gnomey: Need to shut up. CLEAN it up.

Erik: No.

Gnomey: Well, you can either clean up the vomit or make out with Loren.

Erik: Fine. *Cleans up the vomits*

Gnomey: So, rice, how are you?

Rice: SAPHALUTAMORPHIS!

Gnomey: I know what you mean.

Dallas: How?

Gnomey: No one asked you! Rephaim, what's your take on this?

Rephaim: I'm kind of uncomfortable in my Raven Mocker form.

Gnomey: Too. Bad.

Twin: So, why do you find torturing me fun?

Gnomey: I don't know, everyone seems to be turning against you, so, there you have it.

Twin: Great. Just great.

Gnomey: I knows.

Damien: So what do we do now?

Gnomey: Wait. This chapter isn't long enough, sooo, oh yeah! Who won?

Jack: Me!

Gnomey: I expected this. So, what should Kalona do for being the loser Jack-o-lantern?

Kalona: I'm not the only one who didn't eat!

Gnomey: Sooo? Jack!

Jack: Rip his wings off, because I hate him for being evil. But I won't do it.

Twin: We're rubbing off on you.

Jack: No, he's evil!

Gnomey: Sure Jackala, sure. *Rips Kalonas wings off*

Kalona: Sh**! I will slay you!

Gnomey: Really, you do know I am you know, superior, right?

Kalona: Right, I'll slay Jack then.

Gnomey: The hell you will!

Kalona: How dare you interfere with mortal choice!

Gnomey: First of all, you're Immortal, second of all, I already locked all of you in a carnival, is it really hard to believe I wouldn't let you kill Jack?

Kalona: …

Twin: Pwnd.

Gnomey: So apparently my story isn't good enough for reviews (depression), I have to make some stuff up. I'm not really depressed. Teehee. I fooooled you. Actually I have threee! Yes!

Loren: We didn't really care if you were depressed.

Gnomey: Guess who gets to play Test Your Strength?

Loren: Heath?

Heath: Nope.

Gnomey: You! So, fight possibly to the death with Darious! After he beats you down, Kalona! Than I'll make you put a Raven Mocker suit on and fight with Dragon.

Loren: Crap.

Gnomey: Each fight will last a chapter. Yup.

Darious: What weapons?

Gnomey: Loren doesn't get one and you get the sword. *Throws a flamey sword* Go!

*Loren gets the crap beaten and burned out of him*

Damien: So, what now?

Gnomey: Who knows? Chapter 4? Chapter 2?

Damien: We already had chapter 2.

Gnomey: Oh yeah. Where's rice?

*Everyone looks over to see Rice eating Loren*

Gnomey: Stop! He must leeeive!

Rice: KAPECHOWTUNG!

Gnomey: FROTARGILUTE!

Rice: I see...

Gnomey: Guess what?

Rice: What?

Gnomey: Now that you're using words I have to kill you. *Hits Rice with a computer until Rice dies*


	4. Chapter 4

A/n: So I just read this amazing fanfiction- Until we meet again- about Jack (if you've read Awakened you know what I mean) So, on to the carnival! 

Gnomey: Okay Loren, now fight with Kalona. *Snickers at Kalona*

Kalona: What?

Gnomey: …

Kalona: WHAT?

Gnomey: Oh I'm sorry, I was distracted by your obvious weakness to the color purple.

Kalona: I don't have a weakn-

Gnomey: Whapatcha! *Throws purple fire ball at Kalona*

Kalona: Sh**! What the hell?

Gnomey: Told ya.

Kalona: That was the fire!

Gnomey: Sure it was. Whatever you need to tell yourself. Now Loren, I'm giving you an advantage by bestowing upon you this purple tutu.

Loren: ...wow

Gnomey: Or we can have you fight me.

Loren: I'd fight you over K- *Realizes his mistake* Crap.

Gnomey: Alright then! *Throws one of the Gnome Garden (previously mentioned garden now named!) Gnome's at Loren*

Stark: So you named the garden?

Gnomey: Yup. Gnome Garden.

Zoey: Nice.

Damien: Yeah, makes since. You know, because of them. *Points to the gnomes peering above the bushes*

Gnomey: Hehe, we sound like friends.

Stark: Your insanity is spreading to us.

Gnomey: Okay, I haven't really done anything to you guys.

Stark: Really? Zoey and Damien not really, but me?

FLASHBACK-

CHAPTER2

Stark: Fine. *Kisses Loren on the lips*

Gnomey: Hehehe, we didn't say it had to be the lips.

Stark: … I hate you.

Justin Bieber: Hey guys *Winks and flips his hair, looking at Loren and Stark*

Stark and Loren: I think I'm going to throw up. *Throw up all over the floor*

END OF FLASHBACK

Gnomey: Good times.

Stark: No they weren't.

Zoey: STARK! *Jumps on Stark, wagging her butt*

Duchess: Stark, what's going on?

Stark: You switched them didn't you?

Gnomey: Yes. BE SWITCHED BACK! 

Zoey: Sorry!

Stark: It's okay.

Gnomey: I don't like your tone of voice. Therefor, you will need to go to... The Forest.

Stark: What?

Gnomey: Right over there, next to the football stadium.

Stark: That's going to be used later on I'm guessing.

Gnomey: Yup. Go to to The Forest now.

Stark: Okay then. *Goes to The Forest*

Gnomey: Let's see what he's doing. *Everyone turns to large TV*

Stark: Well, this is boring. How long do I have to be here? *Comes across lake*

Ariel: *Peering above lake* I don't know, but welcome. To the Disney Forest. Hehehe (Girlie giggles)

Stark: Okay?

Snow White: Hello. You don't look like a dwarf,

Stark: I'm not.

Happy: BE HAPPY!

Angry: F*** off!

Pinocchio: Hey there! I'm not secretly a murderer out to kill all the children of the world! *Nose grows about 7 feet*

Stark: What the-?

Shrek: You look appetizing.

Stark: Ahhhh!

Ariel: This is where our true natures come out.

Stark: THE INSANITY!

Gnomey: That's enough! *Poofs into Disney Forest*

Shrek: And what are you goin' to do about it?

Gnomey: Meet the gnomes. Were a bit more... eccentric than others tend to believe. *Gnomes pop out* RETOPHAROG!

All the other gnomes: RETOPHAROG! *Gnomes attack and knock out Disney characters*

Gnomey: Good job! Let's go. *Poof back*

Zoey: How was Disney Forest?

Stark: Goply. *Sits down and rocks back and forth*

Gnomey: This is pretty long considering no reviews on here yet, so review!

**StevieRae2011**

**Hilarious. Yours and half of Twin's stories are like my favorite ever. Okay. Here are suggestions.**

Game: Pin the tail on the Obnoxious Jerks. Heres how it works. take 3 jerks (Dallas, Erik, and Loren) and three girls they burned (Dallas= Stevie Rae, Erik= Aphrodite, and Loren= Zoey). Then you tie up the guys and have a 30 minute segment where the girls stab their assigned guys wit pins. It'd be hilarious! (especially if Erik gets on in da eye)

Vegetable: Broccoli (wit cheese) Bye!

Gnomey: Alright then, StevieRae. Will do. You may be wondering why you aren't on, unfortunately, I don't know you. And that would be so very confusing (StevieRae Stevie Rae). Sorry, maybe later. Like now.

StevieRae: Hi.

Gnomey: Hi. So, lets tie up the jerks! *Ties up Erik, StevieRae ties up Dallas, and BroccoliWithCheese ties up Loren*

Loren: Did I really get tie up by Broccoli?

BroccoliWithCheese: Broccoli, with cheese!

Gnomey: Okay, now, Stevie Rae, Zoey, and Aphrodite, pick a number 1-1. Afro!

Aphrodite: Ugg. I don't know, 1?

Gnomey: Stevie Rae!

Stevie Rae: 1.

Gnomey: Zoey!

Zoey: 600.

Gnomey: Zoey was the closest, so nothing happens. All of you get unlimited darts! GO!

*The girls stab their victims repeatedly, to the point where they're crying*

Gnomey: TIMES UP! Healin' time! *Heals the guys, only externally. The pain is still there :)*

Zoey: I thought you said you wouldn't do that!

Gnomey: They don't come back to li- sh**! Disney characters! *Everyone turns to see the Disney characters creep out of the forest*

Donald Duck: Hehehehehe!

Zoey: Creepy.

Gnomey: Yes, and only one thing can stop them, a sacrifice.

Stark: A sacrifice?

Gnomey: Of innocence. They feed on it. But we won't do that, because then they'll never leave.

Jack: Thank goodness.

Gnomey: So the other thing, GNOMES UNITE! Let's finish them once and for all!

(30 M rated minutes later)

Damien: Oh my goddess, poor Mickey.

Zoey: That was...

StevieRae: Horrible.

Stevie Rae: You kidding?

Gnomey: Leave now, StevieRae, for I can't lock up people in a carnival, that's illegal!

Erik: Umm.

Gnomey: No one cares if I lock you guys in a carnival!

Erik: Harsh.

Gnomey: But true.

BroccoliWithCheese: What do we do now?

Gnomey: I don't know. Erik do you like broccoli?

Erik: No why?

Gnomey: EAT YOUR VEGETABLES! *Grabs Broccoli and shoves him towards Eriks mouth*

Erik: I do- *Broccoli is succesfully forced down throat* Gross!

Gnomey: Shut up or you'll be spending some time with me in the stadium. You don't want that.

Erik: Think I can't beat you at football?

Gnomey: Oh it's on! *They all go over to the football stadium, everyone but Gnomey and Erik sit on bleachers*

Erik: Prepare to be-

Gnomey: That's right. Touch down for Gnomey.

Erik: You didn't say hike.

Gnomey: We're not even playing football.

Erik: What are we doing then?

Gnomey: Fighting.

Erik: Crap.

Gnomey: That's correct. *Tackles Erik and stabs repeatedly with unusually sharp blade of grass*

Erik: *Screaming like a dude*

Gnomey: Woah wait, you scream like a dude?

Stark: Nope that was me. Hehehe.

Gnomey: Kay. *Stabs Erik more*

Erik: *Screams like a girl*

Erin: I didn't know

Shaunee: That was possible.

Gnomey: Do you give?

Erik: Yes yes! I give!

Gnomey: Wimp. *Stands up*

Erik: You wouldn't be saying that if we were fighting without weapons.

Gnomey: It was grass.

Erik: That can cut people!

Gnomey: Hehehe.

Erik: One on one.

Stark: Really?

Erik: Shut up. *Gets butt kicked*

Gnomey: I'm in charge here, I don't need weapons.

Erik: Now I feel like an idiot.

Stark: You are an idiot.

Erik: SHUT UP! *Throws brick at Stark, knocking him out*

Gnomey: Crapola! That was pretty awesome. Let's go! Someone drag Stark- not you!

Justin Bieber: Darn it.

Gnomey: *Poofs Justin Bieber out* Oh well, let's go!

*Everyone leaves stadium*

Erik: And you think I was abused.

Gnomey: THAT'S IT! Come. With. Me. I would recommend staying here, this won't be controlled violence.

Erik: I'm going to die. This is it.

Gnomey: Possibly. *Drags off to stadium*

Stark: What do you think is going on there?

Jack: I don't know, it can't be good.

Damien: Should we go check on them?

Zoey: I don't want to die anytime soon.

Damien: I guess you're right.

(A loud crash sounds and they see a large hole in the stadium)

Gnomey: Get back here!

Erik: No! *Runs over to the others*

Gnomey: Fine, every chapter this will happen. EVERY CHAPTER!

Erik: Oh crap.

Zoey: So what exactly happened in there?

Gnomey: Stuff.

Google: Rub sandpaper on their skin and rub lemons on it

Gnomey: Will do. Here's your human flesh. *Throws a piece of skin at Google*

Google: Thanks.

Stark: Google eats flesh?

Gnomey: You shut up! Why'd you look at my history!

Stark: To find out what happened!

Gnomey: Grrr.

Stark: Grrr.

Gnomey: Oh yeah I'm real scared of the guy in the skirt.

Stark: It's a kilt!

Gnomey: Sure it is.

Stark: It is!

Gnomey: It's okay to cross dress.

Stark: But I don't! Erik does! (Trying to redirect conversation) 

Erik: Let he who is without skirt make the first call.

Stark: Let he who is with Zoey punch you in the face!

Gnomey: Settle down! You're both a**' in your own way.

Stark: HE IS!

Erik: NO HE IS! 

Gnomey: Wow. I'm more mature than you guys, and what are you 18?

Erik: He started it.

Stark: Meh.

Erik: Meh!

Stark: MEH!

Erik: MEH!

Gnomey: SHUT UP! You, stand over in the Gnome Garden! *Points Erik to Gnome Garden* Gnomes, lay off. You, go stand over in the Corner of Timeout! *Points Stark to the Corner of Timeout*

Zoey: Wow. Way to take charge.

Gnomey: I know I'm proud.

Damien: What now?

Gnomey: Hmm. How about a commercial break!

Gnomey: Are your 18 year old acting like 3 year olds? Do you just want to smite them, but can't because you aren't me? If so, get The Corner of Timeout! Great for timeouting people!

Zoey: Nice.

Gnomey: I know. Hehehe I just realized it says STD at the bottom of the word processor thing. Next to INSRT. Funny.

Stark: Are we done?

Gnomey: For complaining, Erik is, your not.

Erik: Yes!

Gnomey: No, it's chess!

Erik: Chess?

Gnomey: Chess.

Zoey: Moving on.

Gnomey: There is nothing to move on to.

Zoey: Then post a chapter.

Gnomey: No, I'll wait until tomorrow.

Zoey: Why?

Gnomey: I don't know. Alright. How about we talk to Erik.

Erik: About?

Gnomey: I don't know, Stark you're out of time out.

Stark: Since when do you like Erik more than me?

Gnomey: I don't. I hate you both in different ways.

Erik: Awww.

Gnomey: Yup. 

A/N: Woop woop! Review for the game, people, and vegetable! Yes! While I go inside my mind. Wish me luck.


	5. Chapter 5

A/N: Reviews came in faster this time. I am pleased.

Gnomey: You're all in luck! Reviews came in quickly this time!

Stark: Great.

Gnomey: You're sarcastic too much.

Stark: No, I'd say just enough.

Gnomey: Well I wouldn't. So first one!

**HalfofTwin**

**Hola sinister-rita, no ablo english-o. El dia de los mertos. Sorry, feeling Spanish-y...only hola and the last part were really Spanish though (last part said "the day of the dead")**

So, I'm thinking that you get a bunch of foergin dudes to speak...forein=gn in many foreign ways and we torture people with that or something. I'm not feeling creative so, if they get the answer wrong they sit in the dunk tank and we get to dunk `em. add some electric eels too!

I'm thinking spanish, german, and french as the languages. oh oh oh! And Japanese!

Gnomey: So Twin, don't you think the pedophiles could use a could swim?

Twin: Yes, what about the third person?

Gnomey: Let's just call... Kramisha a pedophile and involve her.

Kramisha: I am not no damn pedophile!

Gnomey: Moving on. Come on out here, Alejandro, Arch, Annette, and Akio!

*Alls the foriegners walk up*

Twin: Foreign. *Pokes Akio*

Zoey: Like names that start with A?

Gnomey: It seemed reasonable.

Jack: How?

Gnomey: JACK! I thought you were dead! *Hugs Jack*

Jack: How?

Gnomey: You've been un-talky.

Jack: Okay?

Gnomey: Anyways, now we need another person so, Stark.

Stark: Great.

Gnomey: DUNK TANK!

Dunk Tank: Yeah?

Gnomey: Eels!

Dunk Tank: No problem.

Stark: I'm not going to ask why. I'm just going to accept it.

Alejandro: Stark, He encontrado una pizza en los pantalones!

Stark: You found a pizza in your pants?

Gnomey: Correct! How?

Stark: Spanish 101.

Gnomey: Ah. Yes.

Arch: Kalona, Führen Sie eine Höhle kommt, um Sie schlucken!

Kalona: Where! NOOO! NOT A CAVE!

Gnomey: SO he said?

Kalona: Run a cave is coming to swallow you! *Looks around*

Gnomey: He lied. Did you travel?

Kalona: Yes.

Gnomey: OKAY.

Annette: Loren, Du dummer Pädophilen!

Loren: I am not a stupid pedophile!

Gnomey: And where did you pick up your French?

Loren: French is the language of love, naturally I learned it.

Gnomey: Gross. Someone stab him with that blade of grass!

Annette: My pleasure! *French accent!* *Stabs*

Gnomey: Awesome!

Akio: Kramisha, ダンク (Danku!)

Kramisha: No fair.

Gnomey; Wrong. He said, DUNK! He was right.

Kramisha: Crap. *Gets dunked and shocked by eels*

Gnomey: Now that we're done wtih that. Next review!

**StevieRae2011**

**Thanx so much! I'd tell u my name but I can't. I'd pm u but, again, I can't. So, if u put me in again, call me KK. Then there's no confusion about who's who. So suggestions: The game is called Pogo Jump. To play, pick 3 least favorite characters and 3 favorite characters who gate the first 3 characters. Then give the favorite characters pogo sticks and let the jump on the least favorites (who are tied/ pinned to the ground). The vegetable is umm red peppers! Bye.**

Gnomey: Okay, KK (hehehe)! Meet Red Peppers!

KK: Hi.

Red Peppers: I used to be happy. But now, joy is gone. Gone.

KK: … Depressing.

Twin: Yeah.

Red Peppers: How can life go on? Doesn't it know what it's missing?

Gnomey: This is one sad vegetable. Okay Least favorites. I think we all know, Erik, Kalona, Loren. Actually Neferet hasn't suffered enough. Neferet, Kalona, Loren.

Erik: Yes!

Gnomey: Chess!

Erik: Okay. Chess!

Gnomey: No! No chess!

Erik: Okay.

Gnomey: Favorites are; Jack, Stark, and Stevie Rae. I have more, those are just 3.

Stark: You said you hated me.

Gnomey: I lied... sorta.

Stark: Okay?

Gnomey: Jack jumps on Neferet (PAYBACK BIATCH), Stark Kalona, Stevie Rae Loren.

Jack: Yay! I'm good at pogo sticks!

Neferet: Great.

Gnomey: Everyone get on your pogo sticks!

*Jack, Stark, and Stevie Rae get on their pogo sticks*

Gnomey: Go!

*30 bone crunching minutes later*

Twin: Coolio.

KK: That was fun.

Jack: I feel icky.

Gnomey: No one died.

Twin: Aw.

Gnomey: Oh well. So Red Pepper, what'd your take on this?

Red Pepper: It shows how all we have left is violence.

Gnomey: You're too depressing. *Feeds Red Ppper to gnomes*

KK: Horrific.

Twin: I agree.

Gnomey: Yeah.

KK: What now?

Gnomey: I have an idea, but it doesn't involve you guys, so, leave for a little, okay?

Twin: Sure, let's go kill some Twilight fans.

KK: Alright.

Gnomey: Okay. Hold on.

Erik: Where is she going?

Damien: I've been trying to not listen.

Stark: Oh well.

Zoey: So, what do we do until she comes back?

Erik: Never thought I'd say this but it's empty without her.

Stark: Yeah, even if it's a few minutes.

Damien: Wait, so now we all miss her? Where is the logic?

Jack: She probably threw it off a cliff.

Erik: Yeah, but things are calmer now.

Zoey: Agreed.

Neferet: I hated her.

Stark: Only because everyone hates you.

Neferet: Then why doesn't Erik hate jer?

Stark: Erik's wierd.

Erik: Am not.

Stark: Are too.

Zoey: Really?

Stark: He started it.

Erik: No you started it!

Zoey: We need Gnomey!

Gnomey: HA! You admit it! That was fun. Ima go get a Pepsi. *Poofs out*

Stark: What the heck?

Gnomey: *Poofs in with a Pesi* GOT MY CARBONATED BEVERAGE!

Zoey: Brown Pop.

Gnomey: I'm changing all brown pop to diet!

Zoey: NO! No! The insanity!

Gnomey: Just kidding. Crap you like brown pop.

Zoey: Non-diet brown pop!

Gnomey: Besides some gross things you guys really haven't eaten. Hmm, you now all have access to ze Kitchen! Next to the stadium.

1 food filled hour later.

Gnomey: So, you know?

Damien: Yeah.

Gnomey: No.

Damien: I know. Wait, what am I saying? Your insanity, is contagious!

Gnomey: I know right?

Jack: Aw, poor Damien!

Damien: Stop, I don't want you to catch it too! Ahh! *Runs towards stadium*

Gnomey: Hehehe.

Jack: I'm going to go get him. *Runs to stadium*

Stark: So, Damien's officially gone insane.

Gnomey: Yes. Yes he has. TWIN! KK!

Twin and KK: Yeah?

Gnomey: Sup?

Twin: Not much.

KK: We were in Gnome Garden.

Gnomey: Fun. I would like to take Erik on a field trip.

Erik: Oh. Great.

Gnomey: AND WE ARE OFF!

*Twin, Erik, KK, and Gnomey go to Rainbow River, just past time out corner*

Erik: Where are we?

Gnomey: Rainbow River, full of little kid fairy tales such as Winnie The Pooh.

Pooh Bear: Hello.

Erik: Hi...

Gnomey: Drown him!

Erik: WHAT? *All the fairt tales come and start to drown him*

Gnomey: Enough! *Erik runs out* That was your punishment of the chapter.

Erik: Crap.

Gnomey: Oh! That reminds me, you can now suggest Erik's punishment of the chapter!

Twin: More Erik torture!

KK: Yay!

(They all walk back to the Main Room)

Gnomey: So, what's next? Oh another review! 

Erik: Damn.

**IloveZimandNny16**

**Hi! I know what my name says but call me 16 K?**

I have a tortureific- opps I meant "terrific"- game for ya. Forced Turth or Dare. How it works is that all the jerk-offs(Kalona, Erik, Neferet, Dallas, Loren, and Dragon) are forced to do horrible dares, while the people I like(Stark, the twins, Zoey, Aphordite, Stevie Rae and Rephiam, and Jack and Damein) only get to answer terribley embaressing/disturbing questions.

Kalona gets to spend time with my brother and the giant, raping squirrels. Erik is forced to watch ALL Twilight movies(and if he refuses make him watch the old Clash of the Titans movie). Dallas gets to listen to my brother sing, over and over again(he's a terrible singer). Loren gets to be raped my little demons and an angle or two. Dragon gets to be locked up with me so that I can chew him out and spit him out like a bad tasting gum(I have a lot of anger I need to get out anyway). And Neferet gets the worst of it. She gets to go COMPLETY inside my mind, and its hella disturbing in there.

Question: Zoey gets asked: If you were to get pregnate, like right now(don't make her pregnate) who would the father be?

Aphrodite gets asked: Would act nice to your parents if you had 24 hours to live?

Jack and Damien gets asked: Have either of you thought about being bi?

The twins get asked: You were conceived the same way?

Stevie and Rephiam gets asked: We all know you two love each other and about the imprint thing, but seriously, have either of you thought about "doing it"?

Oh and before i forget. The veggie is mushrooms! I like mushrooms.

Gnomey: This is why I kill off vegetables early. And to the review right before this one by 16, I'm probably going to do a different one as soon as I'm done with this one. Syup.

Damien: Syup?

16: I think you mean yup.

Gnomey: I do, and I realize the mistake, but I'm not changing it. Nothing. Is. Perfect.

Damien: Okay then.

Gnomey: Okay then, Kalona. Go.

16Brother: This will be awesome.

Kalona: Crap.

THE CONTENT OF THIS DARE HAS BEEN RATED 'M' AND THEREFORE WILL NOT BE SHOWN TO THE PUBLIC, IT ALSO CONTAINS ANIMAL CRUELTY AND BEASTIALITY. I FEEL BAD FOR NEFERET.

Gnomey: Now that that's over.

Kalona: That wasn't as bad as I thought it would be.

Everyone Else: O.o

Gnomey: Erik. See ya in a little while. I EVEN GOT THE LAST ONE! Hehehe.

16: You got the last one early?

Gnomey: Just for Erik.

Erik: Gee thanks.

Gnomey: I try.

Erik: Bye. *Walks to movie theatre that JUST popped up, I'm amazing*

Gnomey: Okay while he does that. Dallas.

16Brother: Lalalala!

Gnomey: SHUT UP! WE SHOULDNN"T ALL SUFFER! I wasn't feeling creative so I put Lalalala.

16: Horrible,

Gnomey: Okay, Loren.

THE SUBJECT MATTER HAS AGAIN BEEN RATED 'M' SO IT ALSO WILL NOT BE SHOWN TO THE PUBLIC. I STILL FEEL BAD FOR NEFERET.

Loren: B-b-bad things.

Gnomey: Dragon, your turn.

Everyone hears screaming from movie theatre.

Gnomey: Hehehe.

Dragon: I'm not sure about this.

Gnomey: Not your decision. *Locks 16 and Dragon up*

Several Minutes Later.

16: Funtastic!

Gnomey: Kay, bye Neferet.

Neferet: I won't do thi-

Gnomey: *Teleports Neferet into 16's mind*

16: It tickles.

Gnomey: Time to come out. *Teleports Neferet out*

Neferet: I'm going to kill myself!

Gnomey: Not yet. Erik! You done?

Erik: Y-y-y-yes. Horrible.

Gnomey: I know. Now on to the truths!

16: So, Zoey the father?

Zoey: STARK!

Gnomey: All right, sure.

16: Aphrodite, would you be nice to your parents.\

Aphrodite: HELL NO!

Gnomey: Mushroom, I forgot to get you out of Vegetable Square!

Mushroom: That's okay.

Gnomey: Aw. Adorable! 16! No! We don't eat the guest!

16: Sowwy.

Gnomey: Best be.

16: Jack, Damien, bi?

Jack: No.

Damien: When I first was gay. But I'm not.

16: Twins! Not Twin, twins! Conception?

Erin: We're not really-

Shaunee: -Twins. Geez.

16: I know! I just was wondering!

Erin: No-

Shaunee: Comment.

16: Fine. Stevie Rae and Rephaim, doing IT?

Stevie Rae: Umm. Awkward question.

Rephaim: What is IT, exactly?

One sex talk later.

Rephaim: Oh. So I'm a bird, but what about the bees?

One explaination later.

Raphaim: Disturbing.

16: I'll take that as a no.

Gnomey: Chapter OVER!

16: Bye! *Flies out, yeah FLIES*

KK: See ya. *Poofs out*

Twin: Time to torture the innocent! *Skips out*

Gnomey: Mushroom gets to live in Vegetable Corner!

Mushroom: Yay!

Gnomey: Just kidding, dead. *Stabs Mushroom with gnome hat*

A/N: So. Now you can suggest Erik's punishment. Fun. Woop woop. Bye!


End file.
